My Hope for wedding day

Wedding is coming very near. I really want to thank God for a bunch of great people that help me to make this wedding successful. They ask me what I want most. Actually, all other thing is not so much important to me except people which dear to me are happy. I hope all those people who is so important in my life to feel happy as well. I hope my wedding is not just “mine” wedding but it will be “our” wedding. A special day, not just for me and Mabel but it will be a memorial day for our parents, our beloved spiritual family, bro n sister. This will be a day, that will engrave something so beautiful and memorial to everyone of us. A day which will mark a significant feeling and support to our life. I think this is more important than any other thing else. Hope you all be happy as well. Coz all my happiness, you all are the contributor and without you all, we won’t be where we are right now. Thank you for you all. 1 what do you say?

JOYed by D 45 at 8:20 PM

God answered my prayer~~

i was a diciple house leader in alpha, since i accepted to be a leader for this house. people jes like a seasonate and keep move out. in my heart very sad, coz i dun know what i can to do? but i still let them to go. this house getting naked after one of my housemates move out, coz he took along all his refridgenerator, washing mechinese ant etc..suddenly, my house needed a lot of things. in my heart, jes know worried coz i scare i kenot be a good leader. but i got tried to learn how to be a good leader. many times, i felt i want to give up but in the end, a strong thing jes keep remind me dun. yes, sometime this feeling hard to describe. i try and try, finally i started to pray out. Lord, in Your name Lord, i can do all thing. even You sacrified Ur self, although people aways You, but You never forsake us. actually i am the impatience person. but i try to learn from this way. i must be patience for every circumstances. i really need lots patience in my life. someime i still felt i no mature enuff. i try to make prayer, told God. everytime after i pray in spirit. i will like whole body very relax. when focus on Jesus, i jes felt i like a baby on His hand. it is good news wanna share out. Lord gave me a cheaper fridge to my house. first i tot that RM80 sure very old and small, even my housemates also told me check carefully b4 purchase it. i pray for God, Lord make the fridge biger Lord, dun small small one. God bless, i get shocked after i saw the fridge. last time my owner wanna sell to me RM300 with very small one. but now i get one only RM80 with big one. the fridge still function well. i give thank to my Lord. coz Him, I GET THE GOOD THING. this few days, i always like attacked by something. i very sad. after took out my bible, but i dint know which verse i wan to read. i jes surrender to God, i told Him, now i open which page, that page verse is u wan to tell me. it real, the verses God gave me suddenly soak in my heart. medidate carefully. actually, i still got many thing need God to guide me and lead me. sometime dont thing this like cheated u. but it is real. confess Jesus as ur Savior. You will get u different with b4... 0 what do you say?

JOYed by D 45 at 2:26 AM

When problems come....

I was in very bad mood, and was struggled a lot in my own problems for quite some long times. The funny part was, I have tried to make myself cool down, and tried very hard to figure out what was going wrong actually so things lead to went wrong. I thought I was already cool down, but actually my temper raised some more, thanks for my stubbornness. haha.

And because of I was too concerned about my situation, until I started to close down every door in my life, not allowing peoples come in and even God. Although I didn’t forgot to tell God about everything, but I too sad to hear n see Him. I felt very very, extremely lonely that time, cause seemingly God also hiding from me. Until one day, I really cannot take it and cry to God asking Him why, why He so quiet when I need Him the most, why He didn’t answer my questions…..why…why…but what I got then was only silence. And a dream. There’re broken rainbow showings in the night time. If you know me well then you should know rainbow is so meaningful to me, it has represent the promise of God. From that moment on I was like giving up everything, expect no one could understand and help me.

Then, I live life as usual. Every night I cry myself hiding down under my blanket, kept all the anger and sadness by myself. Ya, I am not happy because I can’t forgive and forget for something what peoples has done to me. There’re very tired and tough times, fighting to my heart everyday to prevent doing silly things. After some other days, I was in Sunday praise celebration; don’t know why my tears jus fall uncontrollable, then, my Pastor said, maybe nobody could understand how sad our story but God does. Some area just too hard to forgive but God knows everything. (slightly different a bit)

I didn’t think too much on it actually while the Pastor was talking. But it’s enough to move me to make another prayer to God. I asked God helps to forgive and forget the person, cause I can’t do it by myself, and I determine continue to care and love the person. After that I could forget slowly the hurts and pain the matter it’s bring, of cause still I would have a little worry what if I get hurt once again. But I chose to surrender all up to God who cares.

Until last night, something that I couldn’t understand suddenly make clear it’s own. Have you ever read Psalm13:1-2? it said:”O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart everyday? ” Even faithful and godly King David has written this, sometimes felt that God was absent. The greater our troubles, the farther away God sometimes seem to be. But God actually didn’t really giving up on King David. I used to think God has also giving up on me, but that is just what I think, what I feel. The truth is feeling could lies.

Have any one else seen rainbow in the dark sky before. That is impossible. Through reflecting the light of sun and the waters in clouds only rainbow show. But then I have seen, the promise of God. Even no sunlight, the problems come, God has promised that He will not leave us. When I revise my mailbox, only I found the answer that I looking for was actually there, just I didn’t realize and too focus on the my situation.

I am so thankful because God is God, who is always gentle and love. Never giving up on me. When problems come, tell the problems that we have God in our life instead of telling the problems are too hard to us. Then slowly you would see things started to change. 1 what do you say?

JOYed by D 45 at 8:07 PM

House Alone

Coming from a not so prosper family, having a room for our own is more like a dream. I believe in most people heart at least there is a time we hope to have a room by our own. Our private areas where we have the full freedom and liberty to do what we hope and want. I do have similar wish some of the time though I knew it’s quite impossible. When I start my college life, and start staying out side, still this remains just a wish because of finance situation. Not only me, but quite a lot of other students as well, though we can hear mostly want to have a room by themselves in an affordable price, still majority sharing their room with friends or stranger.
Finally, my this “wish” (though I don’t really like it anymore) to have a room by myself come true. Not only room, but now I have a house all by myself. It turns out to be quite frightening I am all alone. After this many years of staying together with people. If have a chance to choose again, I still want to share room with other people even though I have the money to pay for a room by myself. The experience is too much to miss it. I will never forget all those “fight” and “talking” with my housemate and roommate. I gain much compare with those “privacy”. Actually staying with people, we still have much privacy if we able and knew how to communicate and relate with people.
Now coming home, and only silent is waiting for you, is truly a not an enjoyable feeling. I knew why so many rich people who have BIG houses are feeling empty. Though I am not there yet, I can magnify what I face and if I am at that situation, I will be drive to crazy or probably be a suicide. However, I thanks God, because as I start to look out of myself and my house. There is tremendous beautiful thing and people God put around me. All those wonderful, handsome, pretty, and God-fearing man and woman of God. They are all full of love, kindness and hope. Seeing them around me, is truly like a honey to the depressing soul. It brings a lot of soothing and sweetness into my life and my soul. Never forget our lovely God the source of love. I can’t imagine, how I my life will be without HIM in my life.
I understand all the people won’t be around me all the time, yet for me all of them is like sun in the sky. Though dark cloud can hide it from my view. But my sun is always there shining onto me, giving my heart a warm that can’t never be take away. Deep in my heart, I wish to say, I love you all and thanks for the time we went thru, and also we will go thru it together in time to come.

Caleb 0 what do you say?

JOYed by D 45 at 9:36 PM